Coffee and Socks
by trxr4kids
Summary: 2D smells Coffee....hilarity ensues.


The smell was……rustic; extremely bold, aromatic, and it awoke 2D along with his senses. He sat up in the dark and squinted as if he could locate the aroma drifting into his room. He sat still for a couple of minutes unable to move; not that he wanted to, and stared down concentrating intently on the thick darkness settled in his lap. He blinked; his head hurt… Finally he swung one leg off the bed and onto the floor. An uninviting chill seized it at once, traveled underneath the covers, and ambushed his whole body. He sighed and briefly considered rolling back into his insulation; to allow himself to drift back to where his headaches didn't exist. However, the robust smell beckoned him and, despite the bleak coldness, he wanted to follow it. He stood and looked down. It probably would have been slightly warmer if he had decided to wear clothes last night before bed, but he just wasn't thinking; he was much too tired. Taking off clothes was effortless for him, but putting them _**on**_ took a great deal of concentration. When his eyes had finally adjusted to the darkness, he resolved that his closet was a troublesome detour as well as too far away. He grabbed his blanket and swung it; wrapping it around him.

Occasionally sniffing, he shuffled down the hallway. He was beginning to think that this "adventure" was a terrible idea for his shivering was starting to interfere with his walk. The smell's intensity increased as the end of the hallway grew closer. Finally, he was in the kitchen and suddenly whimpered. Silently cursing, he grew angry at himself for not at least grabbing a pair of socks. Not only did he love his darling socks, but the ice sheets that somehow replaced the kitchen tile at night painfully burned the bottom of his feet. He tilted on his heels and gingerly lifted his legs high with each step. Walking delicately, he approached the glow that he had spotted in the center of the kitchen.

Noodle sipped her coffee and watched the strange caped figure walk….if you could call it that….closer and closer. It was waddling like some sort of duck… trapped in a tar pit. Whatever it was out this late, she could handle it. She could single handedly take down an entire zombie ambush; so this zombie reject wouldn't be a problem. She calmly placed down her mug and turned the coffee machine off; completely obliterating the only glow in the small kitchen.

2D was shocked. He was almost close enough to the glow to see who or _**what**_ was standing beside it. He dared not speak; for some unknown reason, the demons of Kong hated his voice and always attacked him when he tried to talk to them. After a number of times, he gave up all together. He wondered if demons could make coffee and if they did, how often did they. The small glow ceased abruptly and the kitchen was entirely black, stopping 2D in his tracks. The room was a dark void, identical to his sockets, and the poor singer swung his head from left to right seeing nothing. His breath quickened, his heart was pounding out of his ribcage. He was blind. He was going to die. His Feet Were COLD! Just as he expected, the demon wasted no time and tackled him; pressing its claws onto his sides. Adding to 2D's prior and continual unbalance, he toppled over onto the freezing floor. His limbs were entangled with the evil spawn and he squirmed and thrashed hoping it wouldn't get a chance to eat his soul. Pausing he took note of the demon (who was unsuccessfully trying to strangle him at the moment) on top of him. He quickly felt its shape for any horns, wings, or tails, so maybe he could identify what type it was. It was strange though; he had never felt such a curvy demon before. For some unknown reason….he wanted to check for a tail again…just in case. It was soft….tailless, but pleasingly soft. The demon gasped and became even fiercer. Every time he felt its tiny fingers close to his throat, he simply stretched out of its reach. It obviously had short arms. "Stop! Die!" it screeched which 2D once again found perplexing. Demon's voices were deep, dark, and foreboding. This one was sweet; maybe even beautiful in an irritated and exhausted way.

Noodle was wasting time and energy, but she just couldn't reach the huge retarded zombie's neck. It kept scooting up and away from her grasp. The whole situation was getting very irritating; she felt it grab her waist and travel its decomposing hand right down to her legs. It _**even**_ stole second feel of her butt; inspecting its shape attentively. After that, she grabbed more frantically for its throat and it continued to extend out of reach like a stupid slinky. "Stop! Die!" she yelled. Not only could she _**not**_ kill this thing, but it was _**violating**_ her as well. She gave up on trying to strangle it and reverted to beating the hell out of its chest. The cloth cape, sheet, or whatever it was, was getting in the way and dampening her blows. She began to tear away at the material. It was then when she heard a familiar, frightened, _**earsplitting**_ cry.

The Curvy Demon was trying to rape him!! He knew he should have worn socks!....and clothes. Yes, he remembered clothes prevented easy access….not socks. "No no no nonononono! Stop!" he cried as the tiny fingers attempted to pry the blanket from around him. "Sorry fa…Interrupting ya coffee break!! Just let me go!!" His grip was so tight he could feel his fingers beginning to numb.

"2D?!" Noodle asked as she listened to the cockney laced pleads. She quickly hopped off of him and made a mad dash towards the light switch. The kitchen was illuminated once more and she looked over and saw a large bundle of shivering blanket in the floor. The blue hair sticking out immediately confirmed her inquiry. "2D…." she approached the lanky brit who was still in fetal position and not responding. She groaned and lightly kicked his butt. "D, get up. It's me!"

2D was in complete defensive mode (which he went into often on Murdoc's bad days) and his eyes were seemingly welded shut. The demon kept calling his name and he suddenly felt a small tap on his backside. "I don't know who are, Rape Demon, but leave me ALONE!!" His voice cracked and didn't sound as sturdy as he meant it to be, but he got the point across.

Noodle froze for what seemed like an eternity. Rape Demon? Was 2D drunk? That would have explained the disorientated walking, but still, alcohol at this late at night didn't seem like him. "Rape Demon?.....What the heck are you talking about 2D!?" she bent down and opened one of his shut eyes. "It's me Noodle!"

2D opened his eyes and saw the cute face of his Japanese companion. "Noodle!!" he quickly sat up and gazed at her teary eyed. His memory flooded him like a storm suddenly. "Watch Out!" he flung his arms out of his blanket and scooped her inside. "_There's a __**rape**_ _demon on ta loose…."_ He cautiously whispered in her ear.

Noodle made a confused face and soon realized what he had meant. "Er…no 'D. I….took care of it….it's dead, yes?"

2D looked into her eyes and a smile crept onto his face. "Weally?" she nodded and smiled as well. He felt her body shiver against his and heard a barely audible sniffle escape from her nose. "…..Are you wearing socks, Noods?" She gave him another funny look and shook her head 'no'. He tightened the blanket around them while they simultaneously stood up. "S'not good…..tha floors are weally cold, y'know….Here I'll walk you back to your room, yeah?"

Noodle gave a small smile. "Yes ok. I am pretty tired." She started walking, yanking the blanket and sub sequentially 2D along with her. Yawning, she reached down, grabbed for his hand, and sighed. "….You're not wearing any clothes are you 2D?

2D blushed and felt a light tug on a certain sensitive body part. "No Noodle…..No I'm not." And with that the Retarded Zombie and the Rape Demon embarked on the most awkward journey down the corridors of Kong together.


End file.
